Skip to main content

Reply to this post | Go Back
View Post [edit]

Poster: tank_tuba Date: Feb 16, 2009 9:15am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: 1959 vs. 2009 (non-dead)

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1959 vs. 2009

Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls in
to the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1959 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun,
goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2009 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail
and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in
for traumatized students and teachers.


Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1959 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark
shake hands and end up buddies.

2009 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark.
They are both charged them with assault and both expelled
even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1959 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling
by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2009 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie.
He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1959 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang.
The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.
Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1959 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

2009 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations.
His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1959 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2009 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. News articles appear nationally explaining that teaching
English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state
school system and Pedro's English teacher.
English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway
but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July,
puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1959 - Ants die.

2009 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism.
The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are
confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.
Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1959 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.
She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Reply to this post
Reply [edit]

Poster: Styrofoam Cueball Date: Feb 16, 2009 11:08am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 1959 vs. 2009 (non-dead)

I thought it was funnah. Yes, things were also fucked-up in the 50's, things are always fucked up, just in new and exciting ways. That's when we need humor MOST. So, thanks to Average Joe.

Reply to this post
Reply [edit]

Poster: NoiseCollector Date: Feb 16, 2009 9:28am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 1959 vs. 2009 (non-dead)

You can be branded a neocon for stuff like this. Maybe even a nazi...

Reply to this post
Reply [edit]

Poster: SoggeeJohnson Date: Feb 16, 2009 9:30am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 1959 vs. 2009 (non-dead)

I miss not having my gun rack in the parking lot before class.

Reply to this post
Reply [edit]

Poster: NoiseCollector Date: Feb 16, 2009 9:35am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 1959 vs. 2009 (non-dead)

I think it's hilarious that a licensed conealed weapon carrier with an FBI bakground check and gun safety education cannot even keep a pistol in their glove compartment at school (ooops) but anyone can walk down to the ghetto and pick up a stolen throwaway pistol for $50 and walk right in and start blasting. Makes sense to me.

Wonder what the murder rates were back then?

Reply to this post
Reply [edit]

Poster: bluedevil Date: Feb 16, 2009 9:40am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 1959 vs. 2009 (non-dead)

I don't know, but them darkies sure knew their place - in that separate but equal school.

Reply to this post
Reply [edit]

Poster: NoiseCollector Date: Feb 16, 2009 9:41am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: 1959 vs. 2009 (non-dead)

Only in the deep south, where the gun racks are. They were never en vogue in Joisy, which has strict gun laws and Camden, Newark and Jersey City to show for it. You can still get in an honest fist fight there, unless it's with a cop or a criminal, they all have guns... that's the problem. The law abiding people don't.

Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos